Why You Gotta Be So Mean
by Asxcala
Summary: When Luka Meguirine receives Taco Luka for her birthday she doesn't know what to think. But after thirteen years of being nothing but the octopus' slave, Luka realized she has to eventually put her foot down. Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

Why You Gotta Be So Mean

_You, with Your Words like Knives_

_And Sword and Weapons _

_That You Use Against Me_

_You, Knock Me off My Feet Again,_

_Got Me Feeling like I'm Nothing_

"Luka! C'mere sweetie, it's time to open your birthday presents!" Luka ran down from her room as fast as her tiny, seven-year old legs would let her. Her mother stood in the kitchen with a large box, surrounded by multiple smaller boxes. Luka jumped off the last step eagerly, an ear to ear, cheesy grin on her face. Her mother stepped away from the table, allowing the pinkette girl to see her presents.

"Thanks Mom!" She squeaked, eyeing the largest box in the stack. Luka loved how her mother had wrapped her birthday presents. Each one had pretty pink paper with a different kind of design on it. Her favorite was still the largest one in the center though. It had all kinds of funky patterns and little tuna imprints hidden in the shapes. She looked up at her mother expectantly, her response was a nod.

Luka ripped through every inch of wrapping paper until she saw the bare box. She blinked in confusion; it was not what she had expected. Under all of that beautiful pink paper… was the oddest package she had ever seen. It was a grayish box with many words scribbled on it which she couldn't read. On the side was letters reading "T.M.L. Project 468" and a bunch of code letters jumbled together. She decided it was best to see the inside before judging the present.

The girl slowly opened the box and gasped. For there, in the strange gray box, was something even stranger. It was an octopus-looking creature with pink tentacles and small eyes sealed shut. Luka giggled, it was just a stuffed animal! She had to admit, it was very sweet of her mother to get such a realistic plush animal, it even had a thin bubble where a nose should have been (plastic she guessed). But when Luka reached in to pick up the toy its eyes snapped open and it glared at her.

"Hey," it screeched in a loud, chipmunk sounding voice "I was having a perfectly good nap before you went and woke me up you jerk!" Luka's hand covered her mouth and she stared, eyes wide, at this creature. It was alive, she was certain of that, and its face looked very similar to hers. Luka knew it was rude but she dared to ask-

"W-What _are_ you?!" The creature seemed to not like her question because her response was-

"I'm Tako Luka you Dumbass! Who the hell are you?!" Luka gaped at the other Luka. Why was she using that kind of language? It was rude and just plain mean! She decided it was only polite to shake hands so she reached out her hand; the strange creature slapped it away with its tentacle and scowled at her.

"Well, I'm going to go do something worth my time, see you later loser!" Luka watched it waddle away and fell to the floor crying. Her mother walked over to Luka.

"It's okay honey. It's just not used to its new home yet, how about you go talk to Taco Luka?" Luka looked up at her mom teary eyed.

"Why is it here anyway?" Her mother smiled.

"Mrs. Hatsune and I went to a special lab out of state a few months back and had it made special for you. You know, because of your troubles at school." Luka smiled back at her mother, it was very nice of her to do this for her, she decided it was time to grow up and walked over to her room.

When Luka opened the door her mouth hung open. The little creature had taken a pink marker and written her name all over Luka's room, on her desk, on her bed, in her drawings, and there were poorly drawn cartoons of Luka with a knife in her head everywhere. Luka felt tears in her eyes but refused to let them fall. She walked over to the little octopus and crossed her arms. The creature was chewing rather loudly on the special gum her grandmother had brought from America. And using its filthy tentacles to play on her DS also given to Luka by her grandma. The creature looked up at her bothered for some reason.

"What you want, loser?" Luka forced herself to stay aloof and grabbed her game out of Taco Luka's "hands". The creature glared at her, mouth hanging open in shock. Luka pointed at Taco Luka's graffiti-

"Clean it up." The creature crossed its tentacles defiantly.

"Oh, I don't think so! _You'll _give me my game back and_ you'll _clean up the mess or _I'll _tell all of the people at your school that you pick your nose when you get home every day. And I'll make you an email with the username "LukaDorkyDumbAss7" and tell all of your friends to email you!" Luka's stared at her in shock. She didn't want the octopus to do any of that and some part of her knew it would. So she reluctantly gave up the electronic game and left to get some cleaning tools.

It took her all day and into the night to clean Taco Luka's mess. When she had finished the creature was in the middle of her bed with greasy snacks littering her sheets and soda spills on Luka's computer. She sighed going back to get her supplies and pick up after the octopus once more.

X

"Time for bed Luka!" Her mother called from her room. Luka finished brushing her teeth and toddled over to her bed. The little octopus looked up at her, yawned and turned back.

"It's time for bed, go find somewhere to sleep!" Luka commanded. The creature ignored her and Luka sighed. She knew if she argued anymore it would through some new threats and insults at her and it really wasn't worth a marker stained, soda splotched mattress.

She walked into the living and fell onto the sofa, not caring about the cold cushions or that she had no blanket. The same thought swirling around her mind the whole night, decided to really hurt her now-

This one day of her life, her birthday of all days, was going to lead to nothing but horrible days in the future.

As long as Taco Luka stayed in her home.

TBC

**Author's Note- Thanks for reading! I got the idea for this Two-shot when I was on Tumblr and I saw a picture of Luka and Taco Luka together. I had known about Taco Luka before writing this of course but I thought this would be a lot of fun to write! The song I used was Mean by Taylor Swift NO I DO NOT OWN MEAN! Please Review! **


	2. Chapter 2

All Your Ever Gonna Be is Mean?

_Well I can see you _

_Years from now in a bar_

_Talking over a football game_

_With that same old loud opinion_

_But, nobody's listening!_

"Oh C'mon, Luka! It can't be that bad!" Luka rolled her eyes, pulling out the pork dumplings she had packed that morning. She sighed; she missed the way her mother used to make dumplings. Hell, she missed everything about her mother. She turned back to Miku Hatsune and faintly groaned. She had neatly packed bento box, it looked homemade. Unlike her dumplings which were store bought. She sighed looking down at Miku's octopus sausages her thoughts returning to Tako Luka.

"Yeah right! I'm literally her _slave_! I can't leave the house without her demanding a bear!" Miku shrugged sinking her teeth back into her melon bread. Luka put her face in her hand, propped up on her elbow resting on the table.

"Hey, you gonna eat that?" Luka sighed sliding the plate of dumplings her way. Miku grinned finishing her bread before moving on to food Luka gave her. She swallowed.

"So, anyway, you wanna come hang out with me and Rin after work?" Luka sighed again.

"Can't, I lost a bet with Tako and now I have to be her 'personal maid' as she invites more girls into _my _house to have a 'sick' party. If you ask me, it's just her way to pick up more chicks." Miku blinked.

"Wait what? Are you saying that Tako Luka likes girls more than then guys? And are you saying that you finally found out its gender? And why did you challenge Tako Luka anyway." Luka yawned, picking up a pen and returning to sign papers.

"Yes. Yes and I have no friggen idea!" Miku took a swig juice and asked-

"And why didn't you just ditch Tako Luka by now? You've had more than enough opportunities in thirteen years!" Luka sighed not putting down her pen as she answered-

"Tako knows all of my passwords and has my old cell phone. If I did she'd either black mail me in the worst way she can think of. And she hasn't deleted any of my contacts. Who knows what shit will come out of her mouth when she gets a hold of the people I care about? Not to mention all of my ex-crushes and old friends! Seriously, it's best this way!" Miku sighed, taking a bite of noodles while contemplating what to say to her friend. Finally-

"Why the hell did you give her your passwords for?!" Luka snapped the pen in her hand aggressively. Dropping the split pen on her desk and letting ink bleed through her work files. Miku gripped her mouth with her hand, shaking slightly as the aggravated pinkette shouted not too quietly-

"Yeah, Miku! Of course I'd just hand over all of my codes to the one son of a bitch I hate more than anyone! No idiot! As useless as her greasy tentacles may seem she is Japan's absolute_ best_ hacker! Not to mention that she's been squeezing my head like a grape for a hundred years, watching anything and everything I do on my computer everyday! Which, need I remind you I saved up for everyday for ten years because she took my old one?!"

Miku stood up and walked over grab a file, obviously an excuse for getting out of her friends way as she threw the soaked file at the wall. Luka watched the inky paper stick to the picture frame and drip for a few minutes as she rubbed her temples to calm her temper.

"Sorry Miku, I'm just so freaking stressed! Our mothers are supposed to care about what happens to us, but they both spent months waiting to give me a mutated present that hasn't helped me once in thirteen years!" Miku heaved a long sigh before answering-

"My mother and I had the worst fights about that. Once, twice a week for a _month_. But, whatever, she moved out after all. Thank god, I was getting so freaking sick of a new man at my house every night for eighteen years!" Luka sighed.

"Anyway, I gotta get home. Can you tell Gumi I'll stay late tomorrow to make up for it?" Miku considered this, Luka held her breath. Everyone in this office knew their boss; Gumi Megpoid was always the understanding type. But this was the fifth time Luka had left work early, there was only so much a person like Ms. Megpoid could take, seeing as Luka was the best person that worked here according to Gumi. Miku sighed-

"She's not gonna be so carefree this time-"Luka nodded, not hearing her as she jumbled up papers and folders as well as her jacket. Luka knew she was still talking to her as she began to walk away.

"Yeah, yeah! Thanks Miku, you're the best!" Then Luka left Miku with her finger in the air and her mouth wide open.

X

Luka's face paled. As she was forced, yet again to watch Tako Luka score another chick without the slightest wrong look. She couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but Tako's smirk told her all she really needed to know. She turned away as the octopus freak and the sweet red head began to kiss not so innocently.

Luka began to walk in the other direction, she'd seen too much already. She walked over to the counter and took the tray of junk food around the house to Tako's party guests. She got a lot of weird looks which she didn't blame on them; she looked like friggen Angelina Nanatsu! When the shit-head octopus told Luka she was going to be a maid she didn't think the freak would make her dress like one. Whatever, anything to humiliate Luka right.

After hours of the same bull shit Luka got to doing dishes, finally. While scrubbing a plate the water hit her eyes, and her mascara burned and stung as a reaction. She dropped the plate back into the sink and rubbed her blue eyes, whimpered a little. Once the pain had simmered down she reached into the refrigerator and reached around for the bottle of coke she'd bought that morning and saved until after work. She grew a little more frustrated when she couldn't find it, slamming the door shut and leaning over the sink to think for a minute.

A while later Tako screeched from her room -that used to be _Luka's_- that she wanted to be carried to the kitchen. Luka had noticed that the octopus creature never walked on her own anymore but that she had to be carried around everywhere. This didn't please Luka in the slightest, but she really didn't have another choice, did she?

Luka sighed walking into the cluttered room to grab the freak not so gently and take her into to the kitchen. She set her down on the kitchen counter and returned to doing the dishes.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Luka turned and glared down at the pinkette octopus, gripping the china plate so tight it shattered in her hand, causing massive cuts down her arm that began to weep crimson tears of evident pain down into the kitchen sink. The creature blinked at her, an almost hurt look in her black eyes covered up by nonchalant emotion. The red flow continued to leak and in less than a minute the sink's clear water was dyed completely red. Luka was waiting, waiting for that freak octopus to finally give up and ask to be taken back to her room.

"What are you staring at?" Luka hissed as the towel that had been in her other hand soaked up some of the blood and instantly was turned crimson as well. The octopus' mouth quivered a little and it squirmed over to the phone. Luka waited, she waited for her Tako's freakish friends' voices to be heard, to hear Tako Luka tell them how much of a fool Luka was.

"Hello, 911! I have a girl…or a woman that needs treatment fast... Umm, stitches I think… No, I think someone needs to come get her…. Thanks!" Tako looked back at Luka then waddled over to her. Luka didn't know what to expect when, surprisingly clean, tentacles reached up her arm and began to yank glass shards out of Luka's skin. Luka stared at her for a long time, until there was a faint knocking at the door and her vision began to blur and she fell light headed to the floor tiles.

X

"Now where are we going, Luka?" The pinkette looked up at Tako Luka and grinned at her. That same ear to ear grin she always wore. Then she placed a finger to her lips and said-

"It's a secret." The octopus pouted at her adorably.

"Just trust me, you'll love it!" Luka smiled, pushing her way through the large green-glassed doors that kind of scared her. Luka ran faster to meet Miku Hatsune at a second pair of doors.

"Finally." Miku smirked. Luka blushed as Miku grabbed her hand and pulled her down for a quick kiss.

Luka smiled and looked into Miku's sparkling eyes. After Miku had come to visit her in the hospital about a year ago, the bluette had admitted feelings for Luka. Luka realized she had felt the same. And, obviously, they had been together, as a pair, ever since. Miku reached out pull Luka into a hug. Luka yelped and Miku blinked. She gasped when she saw one of Luka's stitches yanked out.

"I-I'm s-"Luka held a hand up.

"It's fine! Let's just go in." She looked up at Tako Luka who was still very confused. Luka grinned again. With a chuckle she said-

"C'mon!" Grabbing Miku's wrist, Luka pushed through the second pair of doors eagerly. Tako Luka blinked in confusion. In the center of the room was a grayish box with strange letters written on it. But on the side were letters reading " .M Project 130." Tako looked up at Luka who began to open the box slowly.

Tako Luka looked into the large box. Inside was what looked like, a large action figure? It looked somewhat like Miku, the hair and the outfit; accept it had large spiral shapes under its eyes and its mouth hung wide open. Tako reached a tentacle into the box hoping that it wouldn't jump out and screech at her. Then the creature's eyes opened and Tako jumped back. The creature leapt out of its box and walked over to Tako. Its open mouth turned into a smile as it said-

"Hello, I am Hachune Miku," it held out a small hand "Pleased to meet you!" Tako Luka smiled and took its hand with her tentacle. She looked up at Luka and Miku.

"Why did you do this for me?" Luka grinned.

"Happy first birthday, Tako Luka!" The octopus smiled lovingly and then turned back to Hachune Miku. The Miku copy smiled, its little white eyes closing-

"I think we're gonna be best of friends!" Tako Luka, being the girl chaser she was, smiled back and reached up to plant a small kiss on Hachune Miku's face. Unlike the others she'd done this to, Hachune just continued to smile.

"Thank you. I was afraid you were going to be mean, but you're actually very sweet!" Luka and Miku grinned and said-

"Not a liar, not pathetic, and not mean any longer." Tako Luka smiled.

"Thanks guys!" Luka reached up and took off her headset, handing it to Tako."

"Again, Happy Birthday Tako Luka! I know you'll never be mean again!"

END

**Author's Note- Thanks for reading, this is the end. Sorry, it's only a two-shot. One thing, if you're confused about the code and numbers on the gray boxes. The abbreviations, .M stands for Hachune Miku, and T.M.L is Tako Megurine Luka. The numbers, 130 is for January 30****th****. Thanks for reading, Read and review!**


End file.
